Saying Goodbye

Our Alaskan Malamute, Dudley. In this picture, he's just over a year old and clutching his beloved stuffed raccoon, Chester.
Our Alaskan Malamute, Dudley. In this picture, he’s just over a year old and clutching his beloved stuffed raccoon, Chester.

I’ve been avoiding this post, but it’s finally time to write it. As many of you know, Dudley was diagnosed with diabetes in January. He was on insulin shots twice a day, and we had him on a special prescription diet. At first, it seemed like he was doing pretty well. There were little things that worried us, like the fact that at he’d gone completely deaf or that he was slow to get up in the morning, but he seemed fine.

In the beginning, before we started the insulin, Jake and I decided together that we would only continue his medication if he seemed happy, healthy, and like himself. At first, he did, and then he began to have bad days–days where he couldn’t stand up on his own or when he became grumpy.  There weren’t many of these days in the first month, but then they became more frequent toward the end of February. He became snippy and surly, which wasn’t like Dudley at all. He would cry out in pain if you pet or brushed him just wrong. He didn’t want to eat anymore, and he was always tired. He couldn’t go on walks  because they hurt.

His diabetes seemed under control, but he was quickly deteriorating before our eyes, and he wasn’t happy.  He was tired.

The day we let him go he was having a rare good day. A bright eyed, happy Dudley day. My mother drove in from out of town to help me take him in, and I tried to change my mind. Maybe he wasn’t ready to go? Maybe he’d be okay? Mom listened to my reasoning, she gave me support, and she helped me make the hardest decision I’ve had to make. I let him go on a good day, on a day where he wasn’t in too much pain and wouldn’t know pain again. I knew I made the right decision when he shook uncontrollably when I urged him out of the car–it always hurt him to get out, and he was obviously still in pain.

Mom ended up taking him in for me. She kept a brave face so Dudley wouldn’t think anything was unusual, and she didn’t cry until she got back to the car. She said he was happy till the end. There was never a day in his long life that he doubted he was loved and treasured.

I miss him so much. I’m healing, and so is Jake. Dudley will always have a special place in our hearts as the puppy we got as newlyweds and said goodbye to the year of our tenth anniversary.  He was a gift from God, and we are so thankful he was in our lives.

 

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9 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye”

  1. I am so sorry for your loss my dear friends! Your post almost brought me to tears. I only saw him a few times but knew I liked that fluffy pup. Love you guys.

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    1. He was truly an amazing dog. We just loved him so much. After reading your posts about Hannah, I know you completely understand. They are treasures! I am truly blessed with the memories we have of him.

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